~A cute little story about my temporary makeup insanity~
I have nothing against makeup whatsoever but have always lived on the more natural side of things. On a daily basis I would only wear tinted moisturizer and mascara and then when I wanted to class it up, I would add eyeshadow (the same two colors every time) and a lip color; and it was always super easy because I knew exactly what I was going to use. I only owned one mascara, one eyeshadow palette, one tinted moisturizer, and two liquid lipsticks. And the best part was that I was perfectly content with it! I felt pretty when I wore it and I didn’t feel like anything was missing from my collection. What I did feel was missing was skill. Even though I never used a lot of makeup, I kind of wanted to be able to create more glam looks if I wanted to; and my biggest obstacle was eyeliner. Of course, like many of us I had gone through the black racoon-eye stage in middle school, but then I dropped eyeliner completely. So, at the beginning of quarantine, my eyeliner application was at a middle school level and I created a goal to perfect a winged liner by the end of quarantine.
But, in my quest to find the perfect eyeliner, I somehow took a detour and became interested in face highlighters. I had never used a highlighter before and suddenly wanted to see what all the hype was about. One of the first highlighters I got was from the Disney and Colourpop collaboration Midnight Masquerade. This was not an accident. The art on the the Midnight Masquerade packaging was created by one of my favorite Disney animators Steven Thompson (@sthompsonart). So, really, I bought this highlight for the packaging. However, it came in a bundle with a liquid lipstick and although I wasn’t a big fan of the highlighted look I fell head over heels for this lipstick.
Around the same time, I made a terrifying discovery. I realized that the two eyeshadows I had been exclusively using were five years old! I had been wearing five-year-old eyeshadow up until June of this year! That’s pretty gross. The “problem” was that they had been limited edition and for whatever reason that caused me to freak out and embark on a long and exhaustive search for new eyeshadows. Preferably eyeshadows that made me feel the way those two eyeshadows had. That mixed with my new obsession with Colourpop’s Disney Collection and Beauty YouTube led me to buy about eighty makeup products in the past four months. I went from someone who had roughly six makeup products to someone who had almost a hundred.
I think it stemmed from all the change that was happening around me. Not only was the world going crazy, but I also graduated from college. Being a student has been a part of my identity to an unhealthy degree for a long time. So not only was I not going to be a student for the first time in nearly two decades, but, I didn’t have a job or any idea what I wanted to do, 2020 was perpetually a growing dumpster fire, and now my go-to eyeshadow had been ripped away from me forever. I think, in short, I had an identity crisis. I couldn’t control not being a student or Coronavirus, but I could control my makeup. It 100% started as this desperate search for normalcy and a past that I had to finally admit didn’t exist anymore. Finding the perfect eyeshadow color was not going to change that, but, my eyeshadow search quickly morphed into something else entirely; the feeling of wanting more and more and more. Every makeup shade can be exactly the same yet somehow different. Thousands of products offer you a dewy complexion or zero pores and you become obsessed with seeing if those claims are true. This pink lip gloss wasn’t my jam, but maybe this one that is half a shade darker will be! It’s maddening.
I also think the prospect of getting things in the mail was appealing to me. Not knowing how long Corona and self-isolation is going to go on is difficult for most of us and getting things in the mail was a nice way to break up the expanse of time. Instead of sitting around wondering if I’ll be able to travel for Christmas, I only had to wait until next Tuesday for something fun to happen.
The problem (or blessing) that emerged was that I didn’t actually like a lot of the makeup. The more makeup I put on my face, the more I didn’t feel like myself. I also didn’t feel pretty. I felt like I looked like me, but with a bunch of color and glitter slapped all over my face. And, yes, I’m sure a lot of that had to do with the fact that I’m not the best at applying a full face of makeup, but mostly I think it was because that’s just not my vibe! Some people love (and rock) a full beat, but I’m not one of those people and the more I tried to be, the more I felt depressed and overwhelmed and, frankly, ugly. Not to mention, the havoc all this product testing had on my skin!
There are two more negative things I want to address before I get to the silver lining. One, makeup is expensive and as I mentioned before- I ain’t got no income! I had done a really good job saving up my money and was all gung-ho to save up for an apartment. But where did literally almost all of it go? This stupid makeup! I literally started to have mini panic attacks over how much money I was losing, and it was all my own fault.
Secondly, is storage. I have a drawer organizer that used to hold my makeup perfectly. Now, this stuff does not fit. It’s no longer organized, things are just shoved where they fit instead of in categories, and honestly just seeing the sheer amount of makeup that I bought gives me anxiety.
However, there is definitely a silver lining. Three, actually.
1) I have found some new products that I truly love, including a new go-to eyeshadow look. So, mission accomplished?
2) I have become better at makeup! All those tutorials and days testing out new makeup can rub off on you! I still don’t know how to do winged eyeliner, but I’m okay with that because I don’t think that’s the best look for me anyways.
3) I am never going to make this mistake again. I feel like I was late to the obsessed with makeup phase and now I am relieved that it's pretty much over. And my wallet is even more relieved than I am.
Originally, I had written a post that listed every product I bought and how it performed and if I would repurchase it, and I got bored just writing it! So, I can only imagine how tedious it would be to read. So, instead, I’ve decided to list my new “holy grails” (as the gurus say) that I have found through this experience.
Phloof from MAC
Glossier’s Cloud Paint in Storm
Rare Beauty’s Soft Pinch Liquid Blush in Bliss
Dr. Facillier, Flynn, and Prince Charming from Colourpop, but they are limited edition. Why do I do this to myself?
Lumiere Lippie Stix from Colourpop
Beauty Bakerie Lip Whip in Snickerdoodle
MAC Crème Lipstick in Crème in Your Coffee
Fun Fact: If you're looking at these picture and thinking, "that doesn't look like eighty products." You're right. I completely forgot I wanted to take these pictures and got rid of most of the makeup I don't like. What's left is the stuff I either really like or the stuff that I'm on the fence about but didn't want to waste product or money.